I was scared to tell anyone!

August 24th, 2023 | by admin |

I have been queer all my life,on this fateful day my friends invited me to a party because I enjoyed partying a lot at the time. I agreed, we went to the party. No one knew I was gay so at the party I had to pretend as if I’m straight because I wasn’t out to anyone.I got really drunk and I was with this guy I met at the party and we had sex ,this was my first time having sex with a man. It was a once off thing and  I went home after. A month I realized I had missed my period and I took a test and realized I was pregnant .At this time I was shocked and I couldn’t tell my partner or anyone,so I decided to tell the guy I had sex with and he denied it and said it was the first time so I couldn’t be pregnant for him and he blocked me on all socials and said he didn’t want anything to do with me . I was depressed and didn’t know what to do. I then decided to tell a close friend who referred me to some guy who she said does abortions for a cheap price. With the little savings I had ,I went to the guy and he made me read about abortion first before going through with the process. He then told me I needed $120usd for the pills at the time I had only $40 and he only gave me 1 pill and said it was worth the  money I had and told me I was going to bleed a lot. So I went home thinking it was done and I did bleed but for a few hours so I called the guy and he said it was done. I was happy thinking it’s done, in a month later The pregnancy is now 2 months. I’m thinking it’s done but I didn’t see my period and called the guy and he said he needed more money.  I was so desperate to get rid of the pregnancy I went back to the person who got me pregnant and he still denied and at this point he was already with another pregnant girl. I was broken not because I wanted to get married to this person but because I just needed help to get the abortion since he was the one responsible but he only hurt me more. Months passed and I still couldn’t money to get through with it at 5 months the pregnancy wasn’t visible.A friend referred me to a traditional healer who I went to visit and she  inserted herbs into my vagina and instructed me to go home straight so I went home and got in labor by myself gave birth to a still fetus  and because I didn’t know what to do next I just went to throw away the fetus in the blair toilet. I  started bleeding uncontrollably. The bleeding stopped once the placenta was out. I had no help from anyone, I was scared to tell it to anyone I was traumatized. I have never told this to anyone up to this day and I would never wish that on anyone.

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